Becky and I!

From friend and reader Mr. Nakatani, I first heard the Japanese saying ichigo-ichie. He explained the word in a comment on my Momma Hakuba post. At that time, it was the first I’d heard of it. Since then, it has appeared more and more in my life, both literally and figuratively. The closest translation I know of this is “a once in a lifetime meeting.”

In a bit of history, the word is often associated with chado, traditional tea ceremony. It’s believed that the time the host and the guests spend with each other during the ceremony is a once in a lifetime opportunity that time should be cherished. For hundreds of years, this idea has been at the core of Japanese traditions and practices. It’s no wonder the Japanese are among the most gracious of hosts. 

Lately, I’ve been reading Cloud Atlas in anticipation of the new movie. And really, it’s got me thinking. Each person I meet on this journey always has their own story and path, each affecting me in their own ways. I can’t help but feel incredibly lucky to meet so many diverse people, and at the same time, I can’t help but wonder if, in some mysterious way, it was fated.

Now, I hate the idea of a fated life. Why? Because that would mean I’m not in control of my own destiny, and that my life is not my own (thanks David Mitchell). At the same time, I can’t help but feel that some of the people I meet along the way, well, it was such a slim chance that we would meet, and somehow, miraculously, we met.

I like to refer to Becky often in this example. What are the odds that the person who ends up being my roommate for training, turns out to be one of the most important friends I make in Japan? I’m not even sure we would have even spoken if it weren’t for that peculiar arrangement. Training had a couple hundred fresh faces. It was with Becky, too, that I sat at a table with Joey and Lisa over breakfast, both becoming good friends and later introducing me to Kris.

Some of those I’ve been lucky enough to meet!

And like that internet famous Carl Jung quote- “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

For me, the jury is out on “fate” and “destiny.” I do like the idea of being fated to meet those who will impact me the most (for good or for worse), but I can’t give into this idea fully. Not to mention, everyone I meet impacts me in some way, big or small. Every single person along the way has changed me. Every single one. 

After Japan, it’s hard to say if I will ever see some of these friends again (sad to say). We were all thrown together in this foreign country and decided to make sense of it together. We’ve built strong ties with one another, but our future is unclear. Will our paths ever cross again? Who knows. I’d like to think they will. I’d like to cave in and let fate take the wheel, leading me to believe that undeniably, we will meet again.

Regardless, ichigo-ichie has been engrained into my very being. It’s something I will always remember when meeting others, whether we spend one hour or a whole lifetime together.

I’ll never forget my first visit to Japan as a scared yet excited 17-year-old. My seat-mate was a gentleman named Daniel. He spent the entire flight showing me pictures of Japan (as he was stationed at a US base) and telling me about what I can look forward to. We spent nearly the whole 15 hours chatting, and after landing, he took me through customs as he knew I didn’t have a clue what to do. He also let me borrow his phone to contact the friend meeting me. Often, I think about Daniel. Where is he now? Is he still in Japan? Might I run into him someday? Who knows. All I do know, is that that meeting was ichigo-ichie. 

Basically, everyday, the potential for ichigo-ichie is out there. You just have to keep an open mind and always smile. You never know who you might meet in a given day. Every one of those meetings could result in a chemical reaction, in ichigo-ichie.